if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
