What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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