What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
