Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
