so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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