I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
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