So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
