bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
