He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The air was thick with penises
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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