the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
