Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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