I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
