6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
