just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
