Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize