Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
