Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
