My brain says no but my pants say off.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
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She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
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Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize