hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
