i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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