it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
