I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
