Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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