my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
