What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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