i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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