She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
