after a month anything with tits is on the radar
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
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