Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
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I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
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I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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