Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night