i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.