Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK

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(972): View more from Texas

You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks

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(714): View more from California

so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)

(1-714): View more from California

i'm so jealous of you right now.

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(260): View more from Indiana

Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.

(219): View more from Indiana

You said that last year...

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(301): View more from Maryland

no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.

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(917): View more from New York City

hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye

(908): View more from New Jersey

AMAZING.

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(928): View more from Arizona

Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again

(845): View more from New York

I give it a week.

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