I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?