I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
