i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize