I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
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She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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