Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
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and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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