I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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