You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
