Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
