Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
