In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
