but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
