Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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