Pregnant stripper...not hot.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
