So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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