I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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