I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
