Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Randomize
