you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
