then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize