It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
