The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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