we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
you never un-have a 4some
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
