I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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