Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I will be naked everywhere
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
